Naruto's hidden pain
by Zeref the Dark Mage
Summary: The burden of being the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi is affecting Naruto in the worst way possible. Will he be able to trust the people around him with his pain before it eats him alive?
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does.) I hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

Naruto's P.O.V

_Demon_

_Monster_

_Murderer_

All of these things I've been accused of but am not. All of my life I've been looked upon as a piece of trash, a _thing_ not worthy of life; a thing, not even a person in the eyes of the villagers. In the eyes friends and those close to me, I'm just Uzumaki Naruto. They, being my friends, don't know of the burden that I am forced to carry or the pain I went through, well, am going through. I'm pretty sure none of them have given much thought to _why _I'm so hated. I've always been too scared to tell them the truth because there's always the chance that they'll stop seeing me as me and see the nine-tails instead. I don't think I can bear losing my bonds with my friends.

I leaned alongside the corner of the bathroom wall that I was huddled against. I thought about summoning up some courage and telling my friends about my problem, going up to them and declaring that I, Uzumaki Naruto, was the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. But then I quickly decided against it. I also thought about asking Iruka or baa-chan for advice, though I didn't want to burden either of them with my problems.

I tightened my arms around my knees and sighed. It was one of those days where I couldn't take any of my constant torment. I looked at the kunai that sat at my feet. A part of my wanted to pick it up and cut my wrists again, the other was to get help with my problem instead of hurting myself.

I cried out with frustration. Why can't my life be a bit simpler? Why did_ I_ have to suffer? I took a deep breath as I pulled my left sleeve of my new shirt. I picked up the cool blade off the floor and pressed it to my wrist. Beads of blood formed and trickled down my wrist and dripped onto the floor. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes as I dug the kunai deeper and deeper into my flesh, causing more blood to pool at my feet. The blood ran down my arm for a few minutes before lifting it up. I relaxed against the bathroom wall for a few moments until a sharp knock grabbed my attention. I panicked as I looked at my wrist and to the floor.

"Who is it?!" I called. I sprang up and rushed to the sink and began to hastily clean my wrists.

"It's Kakashi. You know you're late right?" Kakashi called. I noticed that his voice sounded close by.

"Like you're one to talk. I bet you were late too. Just wait and I'll be out in a few moments." I yelled.

"Nope, for once I was on time." I heard Kakashi move toward the bathroom, and I began to quickly wrap up my wrist. "Naruto, what are you doing in there that's taking so long."

"I'm just cleaning sensei." I yelled. I pulled my shirt sleeve down and exited the bathroom. I turned the light out in an attempt to cover up what I didn't clean up. I walked out of the bathroom and into my living room.

"Oh good you finally…." Kakashi's voice trailed off, his one visible eye was wide and his usual orange porn book slipped from his hand. I noticed a dark look cross his face for a moment. I looked at him in confusion. My eyes followed his gaze and noticed the blood that was on my feet and trailed from the bathroom.

"Naruto?" Kakashi cautiously asked.

"Yes?" I answered hesitantly.

"Were you aware that you are injured?" he asked.

I paused for a second and quickly came up with an answer that wouldn't register to Kakashi as a lie. "It's really not a big deal. I didn't think it was that bad."

I internally flinched when I saw Kakashi briefly narrow his eyes. He covered it with an eye-smile. "Well, then I better clean you up before we leave." He advanced toward me.

"You don't have to do that Kakashi-sensei. I'm fine." I insisted fiercely.

Kakashi gave me a look that was mixed with concern and suspicion. He again covered it with his famous eye-smile. "Maa, Naruto, I can't have one of my precious students injured without helping them now can I?"

"I guess not." I mumbled. I jumped when I felt Kakashi gently grab me and pull me toward my bathroom.

"But Kakashi-sensei you really don't have to." I insisted as I struggled against his grip.

"Oh, but I do." Kakashi murmured. He pulled me with a firm grip toward my bathroom. "Naruto, what are you so desperately trying to hide?" I looked up at him in shock. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye with a look that said he was on to me. This caused more panic to rise in my chest at the idea of Kakashi finding out about my cutting.

In my haze of panic, I didn't notice Kakashi drag me to the bathroom and turn the light on. I felt his grasp on my arm tighten with anger. "Kakashi-sensei?"

"Naruto…what the hell?" Kakashi growled. "Why is there blood all over you bathroom?"

I flinched away from the piercing gaze that was on me. "It's from my cutting." I incoherently mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what?" He hissed.

The fierceness in his voice caused more panic to rise in my chest started to tighten more with panic and I found it more difficult to breathe. "Kakashi-sensei, it's hard to breathe." I quickly said. His eye widened with shock.

"Naruto just calm down and take deep breaths," Kakashi coaches. He pulled me to the ground and rubbed my back soothingly. I shakily started to take deep breaths. "Naruto, just try to calm down. I didn't mean to scare you, I'm just really concerned and all the blood in the bathroom scared me."

I swallowed hard as my chest slowly constricted. **Silly brat, you always get worked up over the little things.** I heard in my head. The Kyuubi finally started to talk to me again. D**on't you think it would be best to tell Kakashi about you problem? It would relieve your stress level. Trust me. You need help about your….problem. **

I paused to consider his words. _I think it would be best to do that too. _I thought back to him. I looked at Kakashi and saw concern in his eyes as he studied me. "Kakashi-sensei, I need to tell you something."

* * *

**(A/N: I hope you enjoyed my story. Review and tell me what you thought.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: I am SUPER sorry I have not updated nor am giving you a longer chaper, BUT my computer is out of commission, so I ave to type everything up using my NOOK, which is a very long typing processs. I'll probably be updating using -in my opinion- short chapters. So, without further ado, I give you my next chaper.)**

* * *

General P.O.V.

Kakashi studied Naruto intently for a few moments. His student looked very anxious and scared. _Whatever he has to say, it must be very big or he wouldn't be acting like this._ Kakashi thought to himself. He frowned when he came to another revelation. _Actually, I've never seen Naruto show any emotions this raw. Could he have been bottling them up the whole time?_ Kakashi pursed his lips under his mask in concentration, carefully chose his next words. "Naruto, you can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge you. You can trust me."

Naruto swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "That blood all over the bathroom is caused by me hurting myself." His voice came out hoarse and shaky. Kakashi's eye widened with shock.

"You hurt yourself?"

"Yeah," Naruto softly confirmed. He looked down and anxiously fidgeted.

"Why?"

"I can't take it anymore." He murmured. Naruto noticed the confused look Kakashi was giving him. "You know… all the hate that the villagers give me. How am can I take them hating me in stride, especially with all the good I've done for this village ? That's just way too much for me to handle. I can't take it any more."

"I see." Kakashi softly said. "I never noticed that it affected you that much. Actually, you never showed much emotion toward it for anyone to notice, care to explain?"

"I just pretend to not care. I've been hiding and internalizing my pain for years. What god would it do for me to start showing emotion now?" Kakashi nodded along sadly at Naruto's reasoning. It really hurt to hear how much pain his sensei's son is in, especially if he spend better part of his life internalizing it never properly convaying it to anyone, not even himself.** (A/N: Himself as in Naruto)**

"Well, you could have told me or Tsunade-sama or Iruka." he pointed out.

Naruto gave a soft humorless laugh that caused Kakashi to internally flinch."Why bother? What can you guys do? They'll still hate me. It would probably make things worse."

"It would have helped with the stress you're dealing with. You might not have ended up hurting yourself."

"I guess." Naruto responded softly, before releasing a sigh and wrapping his arms around his knees, making look a bit more vulnerable."I'm really just not used to having anyone to lean back on." Kakashi looked sadly at Naruto. He reached up and gently ruffled his hair. "Well, you need to realize you're not alone anymore. You have me, Iruka, Tsunade, Team 7, and many others. You have to trust us with a problem like this. We're not going to let anything happen to you." Naruto paused to consider Kakashi's words for a moment before a sad expression appeared on his face.

"Kakashi-sensei, I haven't really told anyone about the kyuubi. I can't really go to any of my friends for help."

"And whose fault is that?" Kakashi bluntly asked. Naruto looked at him with a surprised look on his face. "What? It is your fault. Do you have a good reason for not telling them? The Akatsuki is after you Naruto. You're going to have to eventually tell them the reason why."

"I'm just too scared to." Naruto mumbled.

"Why are you scared to?" Kakashi asked, though Kakashi already knew the answer.

"Because there's always the chance they'll reject me for it." Naruto sadly responded. "I don't think I can bear to lose someone close to me right now."

Kakashi looked sadly at his student. Due to all those years of abuse from the village, being practically alone, and being shunned had left Naruto emotionally broken and lacking the ability to trust those around him. Just thinking about it caused a pang in Kakashi's heart. This once again left Kakashi to cause and carefully choose his next words. "Naruto," Kakashi started. Naruto looked up from his fidgeting and met Kakashi's eye. Kakashi noticed worry and a hint of fear evident in his eyes. Kakashi sighed. "You know you can trust your friends. They aren't like the others in the village. They've taken the time to get to know you instead of follow everyone else's lead to ignore you. Your friends…..they've seen the kind, caring person that you are. I can guarantee that they all know well enough that you aren't any of those things the villagers say to you, and that you are so much more than what those cruel people say to you."

Naruto looked at Kakashi with wide, watery eyes. "Are…are you sure that's what they think?"His voice came out shaky and watery.

"I'm positive that's what they think. They care about you so much and would never let anything happen to you."

Naruto intently studied the confident look on Kakashi's face. '**Kit, your sensei has a point.'** The kyuubi spoke in his mind. '**I also believe it would allow all the weight on your shoulders to be eased.'** Naruto nodded with the kyuubi's reasoning.

_'I think you're right. Thank you, kyuubi._' The kyuubi's eyes widened with in shock at the thanks. The nine-tailed had never been thanked before.

_'That's Kurama to you,...Naruto.'_ Kurama corrected, using Naruto's name for the first time.

Naruto smirked. '_Well then arigatou Kurama.' _He then paused momentarily in thought. _'Even with evevthing that's happened, I couldn't haven't it any other way.'_ Kurama's eyes widened and the fox smirked.

**'Just like father; Naruto, you sure are something.'** He thought to himself.

"Hey Kakshi-sensei," Naruto said, grabbing Kashi's attention back to him. "I'm going to take your advice and tell everyone soon. I think... it'll be better for me to weight on my shoulders go away."

Kakashi gave a small sigh of relief. "Good, that'll give you more stability in your life to help you through this."

Naruto anxiously rubbed his hands together. "I hope so. I really don't like being this way."

"You don't have to be, not any more." Kakashi gently said, rubbing Naruto's shoulder in a comforting way.

* * *

**Well, I hope you enoyed this chaper, until next time. :)**


End file.
